


Ride into Awkwardness

by ModSoul



Series: Between the Lines [7]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Asexual Oswald Cobblepot, Brief Sexual Content, Established Relationship, Fake tumblr ask, M/M, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Season/Series 05, Sex Positive Asexual Character, gotham is real, real gothamite explaining fictional events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:33:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22572550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModSoul/pseuds/ModSoul
Summary: People are curious, especially about the embarrassing and saucy details.Or when two people share a moment of intimacy only to be interrupted my something far too innocent for the occasion.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: Between the Lines [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588390
Kudos: 19





	Ride into Awkwardness

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a larger series I still have to write.  
> What you need to know:  
> \- Every part of this ask-stories consists of three parts: The Tumblr-post, the flashback to what really happened, Ed's and/or Os' reaction to the post/memory.  
> \- They started dating after Reunification, by the time the questions are asked they have been married for about a decade.   
> \- The Flash went back in time with files upon files on the DC characters & inspired the comic universe, while Batman made sure that any information regarding it would not appear in Gotham, meaning: The comics, movies and shows exist in the world, while the Rogues are non the wiser.  
> \- When Penguin & Riddler figured this out they made someone write their version which in turn was used as basis for the show Gotham.  
> \- After they made a spectacular appearance at a Comic Con, revealing themselves to be real, people started questioning what is real and what is fictional.  
> \- A Tumblr savy Gothamite ended up answering those questions(, as Batmans information block had been cleared after Penguin guilt tripped him into doing so).  
> \- All asks are stand alone - if they refer to things happening in other Fics, those will be linked(, once I publish them).  
> \- The above mentioned things will become their own Fics, including the actual introduction to the Tumblr-user in chapter four of [Gotham Conspiracy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26163706).

YesILiveInTHEGotham **Anonymous** asked:Spill the beans! Are there any juicy details about Riddlebird? Have they ever been caught in the act doing something indecent (except murdering people of course)? Any embarrassing or weird stories about their sex life known to the public?  God, what's wrong with you people?  I'll say this much: They keep their dirty laundry out of the public’s eyes. Heck, they barely touch, let alone kiss, outside of Pride, why would they let people see or know any more about their bedside manners? Seriously, why do you care about this? Though, there was this brief period after the first Pride, where a reporter published a piece about them kissing in the Lounge that had half the people facepalming and the other question who Penguin's "Mystery Lover" was.  
Riddler in a domino mask that's who it was … #Real Gothamite Talking#Gotham is real #sextalk#Penguin and Riddler are married 42 notes 

~~~

Ed was rocking them up and down, his hands on Oswald's hips to keep him in his lap. Careful not to put too much strain on his leg Oswald clung to the open piano before them, his knuckles going white. That's when his brain started chanting _hoppe, hoppe_. At first he was able to ignore it, focusing on the pleasure surging through him.  
"Good god," Oswald groaned as his memories added a _Reiter_ and images he really did not want to see during intercourse before his mind's eye. "Stop!"  
Immediately Ed halted their movement and Oswald desperately tried pushing the thoughts away, but they would not let him. He squeezed his eyes shut, sending a jolt of pain through his still healing injury. Why was this happening? Why now? All of this was still a minefield for them, why would his brain add _those_ memories into the mix?  
"I can't do this." Oswald resigned to his fate, slamming his fist onto the keys in front of him.  
The cacophony of notes hung menacingly between them.  
"Are you hurt? Is something wrong?" The questions all but poured out of Ed, when Oswald lifted himself into a standing position, only moaning when they parted.  
"It's, uhm, would you mind helping me get dressed first?" He could not look at Ed, not yet, but the other obliged without another word.

His pants secure around him and Ed equally tugged in, Oswald hobbled to the side, sitting down on the bench beside Ed. He put his head in his hands and let out a frustrated groan. Their evening had started so well with dinner and wine, singing at the grand piano in the mansion's reading room and now he had ruined it all.  
“What’s wrong? Was it something I did?”  
“NO!” Oswald snapped far too loudly, startling them both. He put up his hand, to let Ed know he was not finished talking. “I’m sorry, Ed,” he tried explaining. “It’s just,” Oswald bit his lip forcefully, pushing down the embarrassment. “My mind conjured up a memory at the most inopportune times imaginable and I cannot seem to shake it.”  
“What’s the memory?” Ed sounded nervous and concerned, most likely thinking that Oswald was talking about another one of his long list of experiences he would rather forget.  
“My nagypapa, uhm grandpapa,” Oswald started his explanation, feeling the heat rise to his ears, the more Ed stared at him in incomprehension until a shimmer of something else washed across his face. A new, more sinister, thought crossing his brilliant mind, that Oswald quenched with a: “rocking me on his legs, singing a, a, a children’s song to me!”  
Ed let out a surprised “Oh” then he said: “That is truly inopportune.”  
“Yes, thank you for understanding. I am sorry.” Oswald did not dare to touch Ed yet. He had been close to the edge, so this must be even more uncomfortable for him.  
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault.” Ed rested his hand Oswald’s shoulder. “I’ve derailed us way more often, you still have some catching up to do.”  
Oswald chuckled at that, shaking his head fondly.  
“So, tell me about it,” Ed urged, trying to get them back on more even footing, his fingers moving in soothing circles.  
“Uhm, well, it’s a rhyme-thing, a-”  
“Nursery rhyme?” Ed helped out.  
“Yes, thank you.” Oswald turned towards the piano miming along to his words, shrugging off Ed's hand in the process. “He put me on his legs and rocked me, while saying it. At the end of it he nearly dropped me, intentionally, but caught me at the last second. I remember giggling quite a bit at it, though I cannot recall what had been so exhilarating.”  
“What was the rhyme? A Hungarian one?” Ed urged, putting one of his legs beneath himself, to better face him. A clear signal to Oswald, that he had come down from his high.  
“No, German. Let me think.” For a moment Oswald just stared at the black and white keys, trying to remember the words he had so regularly heard as a young child. “Ah, I have it!” He declared before reciting: “ _Hoppe, hoppe Reiter, wenn er fällt, dann schreit er. Fällt er in den Graben, fressen ihn die Raben_.” Where his accent had spoken volumes of his Eastern European heritage in his younger days, now his words were laced with a thick English accent. It sounded strange to his ears.  
“What does it mean?” As always Ed was eager to learn new things so Oswald tried his best to translate.  
“ _Hoppe_ means the movement you make as a rider, not quite hopping but similar. So that would be the Hopping, hopping rider?” He explained the motion by miming it again, moving his left leg up and down while his hands held an invisible child.  
“When he falls, he cries. Does he fall into a a a ditch - I believe - the ravens will eat him.” Oswald frowned before nodding. "Yeah, I guess that fits."  
“Wow, that’s a _nursery_ rhyme?” Ed asked loudly, his eyes wide open.  
“Yeah?” Oswald was not quite sure what the other meant by that. “Oh, there was another line!” He remembered, slapping Ed's leg in excitement. “ _Fällt er in den Sumpf, macht der Reiter plumps_ , that was the part he would fake drop me!” Oswald declared proudly before scrunching his face. “ _Plumps_ is another motion word, I think, it’s a splash or splat?” He tried translating. “So the line would be: Does he fall into the swamp he makes splash? Or something.”  
“Are there any other childhood stories that could interfere with our love making going forward? Just to be sure.” Ed had apparently had let go of their earlier exchange, leaving Oswald dumbfounded.  
His mouth worked silently while he was raking his brain for words and memories. “I-I don’t think so?” He concluded, before a thought stretched his lips into a smirk. “Though I have always wanted to try the _Struwelpeter_ punishments on someone.”

~~~

“People are getting ridiculous,” Ed commented, pushing his phone over his head in front of Oswald’s face.  
They were comfortably lying on the couch in their living room, Ed cushioned by his stomach. Adjusting his monocle and grabbing onto Ed's hand to steady it, Oswald read the post.  
“We never had something like that, did we?” Ed wondered out loud, taking his phone back, once Oswald released his hold.  
“Well, there was the _rider_ -incident,” Oswald reminded him, putting his hands back onto Ed's chest.  
“Oh, right, took us a while to get that position working again afterwards,” Ed acknowledged turning around in his arms to snuggle further into Oswald’s stomach, his long arms hugging him tightly.  
Oswald hummed in agreement, letting his hands wander and rake across Ed’s shoulders.

**Author's Note:**

> First things first: _Hoppe, hoppe Reiter_ is a real German nursery rhyme or _Kniereitvers_ (literally: Kneerideverse - a verse used while a child rides on an adult's knee, you can find it on [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kniereitvers)) as it is apparently officially called. When coming up with this idea I didn't remember the swamp-line myself until reading up on it. The rhyme is used both in Germany and Austria - with different variations about snails, bogs, hedges and so forth - and I simply took the liberty to choose the most common German version. Same with the _Struw(w)elpeter_ (according to Wikipedia [Shaggy Peter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter)), which is a children's books that teaches them amongst other things obedience through stories about children that won't sit still or eat or stop playing with matches that end badly - occasionally even deadly - for them. Interestingly, there is also a story in it about a boy that leaves the house during a storm and is then carried off by his umbrella, though I don't remember that one. It does, however, fit the comic-narrative that Oswald was forced to always carry an umbrella with him.  
> If you want to read up on this, do be careful: It's not exactly gruesome, but not exactly child friendly either.  
> And yes, some people still read it to their children today.
> 
> For those interested in such things: My titles are usually some sort of wordplay. This one on the line "Ride into the Shadows" from the song _The Piper never dies_ by _Edguy_. However, my memory told me it went "Ride into Obsession" which in turn is a song by _Blind Guardian_. So it's a mix of both I guess. Not that either has anything to do with the content, it was just the first thing that plopped into my mind, when thinking about wordplays on "Riding".
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this! The Mystery-Lover story, will be covered in the one about Gotham's first Pride, with probably an extra chapter or story on how they exploit the hell out of people not recognizing Ed.  
> A little more about Oswald's language knowledge can be found in [My Mother's Tongue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22116205)


End file.
